Nick Offerman’s 10 Tips For Prosperity
- Engage in romantic love
- Say please and thank you
- Carry a handkerchief
- Eat red meat
- Get a hobby
- Go outside. Remain.
- Avoid the mirror.
- Maintain a relationship with Jesus Christ… if it’s getting you sex
- Use intoxicants
- Paddle your own canoe
From his one man show, American Ham
(via themattsmith)
You should see my fucking cookouts, man. When I was back in Seattle, I had the goddamn Spoonman from the Soundgarden videos coming to my shit. Oh, yeah. I’m talking six grills burning at all times. Tiki Torches. Three whole pigs. Fucking shitloads of macaroni and cheeses. Baked potatoes. Collared greens. A horse. Fucking Puerto Rican chicks showing their pussies and tits off everywhere. They were amazing.
“
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Kenny Powers Season 1, Episode 4 |
Nick Offerman’s List of the 25 Most American Things You Can Do Today
(That You Can’t Do in Socialist Europe or Some Other Backwater)
(gq via azizisbored)
